Saturday, December 03, 2011

Part 13 - Not Kibble, But Bits

In the house, we have two water reservoirs happening in the attics. (Attics? Plural? Yes. Move on.) Since nobody or nothing goes near them, we haven't given much thought to them, other than a monthly check (and drain when they approach maximum capacity). Despite that, my wife asked me the other day what happens if one springs a leak? Well, we have patch kits for bicycle tires. Those would work. So, now we keep a patch kit in the attic.

That night, I got to thinking, that yes, we could, in the very unlikely situation where a small hole develops in one of the mattresses, fix the hole. A tear, unfortunately, would be catastrophic to the mattress. It's even more unlikely, but, as Lloyd said in Dumb 'n Dumber, "So you're saying there's a chance!" I went out and bought two more king-sized mattresses. Then, when I got home and put them away, I went out and bought two more of every other part of the system. And changed the filters, too.

And since it's still fresh in my mind, I should mention the other attic situation: our food supply. Yes, canned/jarred food can last quite some time. But if you don't use it before it "expires", then it's just waste. So, we are rotating out old food and bringing in fresh. If we fall behind in our rotation (because we're sick of eating something), then the local food bank benefits. (No, the food hasn't spoiled when they get it.) One thing this has helped us do, however, is to prepare a more varied survival menu. It's not all beans, peaches, and creamed corn up there.

I bet you're now asking yourself why he even bothers with the house when he's got a Northern Fortress. The answer is simple: most zombie outbreaks won't be Armageddon. We can stay at home, and survive, for up to a year in our home. At any point before then, we can make the pilgrimage up North. In fact, re-reading the survival guide, I was reminded that doing just that is recommended. We've all seen catastrophe movies where everybody is trying to get out of town at the same time. What good comes from that, unless you're at the front of the line? Nothing. Traffic jams. Panic. Looting. Mob mentality. It all adds up to zombie smorgasbord. Your best bet is to wait it out. Any trip to the North, won't happen immediately. No, we'll sit tight, hold the fort, and keep the home fires burning. If we're not up North in a year? Call the president.

In the previous post, I spoke about electrical needs. I wasn't clear on one item, and completely skipped another.

The "hydro-electric" system we've installed isn't the Hoover Dam. It's not even "small scale". There's a name for it: micro hydro. On a good day, we're generating close to 40kw. To put that in perspective, my home, in the winter, averages about 60kw/h per day. I'm pretty frugal with the heat and lights, too. The best use for it, we've found, is to keep the batteries charged up to early winter and after early spring. (The stream is just small enough to almost completely freeze up in the winter, that far North.) We might be able to improve on the system, but as it stands, there's no need.

The one thing I forgot to mention regarding electricity is the human-dynamo element. We have a few stationary bikes set up so that if you want to watch TV, or listen to music, or use a computer, then you must sit on the bike. There's also a mandatory 60 minute "ride" that everybody must do, every day. Not only does this help top up batteries (if you're not doing one of the aforementioned activities), but it also helps with the old cardiovascular system.

Next update I'll talk about escape planning.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Part 12 - Annual Update

So, it's been a little over a year since the last update, and I have nothing to report other than good news.

First, no zombies. The whole point of this endeavor is to survive Ol' Zeke. But he hasn't shown up. We don't mind that a bit.

If anything, as I'm pretty sure I've mentioned previously, at least we're now prepared for more natural disasters, such as a catastrophic earthquake.

Second, not that we expected an epidemic to occur any time soon, but the fact that all is quiet has allowed us to not only get things up and running, but also to allow us time to work the kinks out.

We've managed to get the the Compound set up so that between the outerwall and the surrounding forest, we have moats, and a good 25m of clearing. Since zombies don't walk faster than your grandparents (or great-grandparents), that 25m gap gives us ample time to react to an assault. People can cross that distance in 3 or 4 seconds, but that still gives us time to get prepared.

Winter, last year, was interesting because we weren't sure how the livestock would be. It gets very cold at the compound and they get a lot of snow. Turns out, everything went reasonably well. It probably wouldn't hurt, however, to get some sort of heating system in the barns/pens. Right now, it's shelter from the elements, but that's it. Animals are hearty, but if you're going to rely on them for survival, you might as well make them comfortable. (No AC in the summer, though.)

We've discovered that there's a lake not too far from the Compound that has some pretty good fishing. By "not too far", I mean by car/motorcycle. It's a decent bicycle ride, but also a fairly long walk. There's also a small river that leads to the lake that is a good recreational site. Slow moving in some areas, and small rapids in others. Neither are too far from the Compound, as long as we know that hell has not come to Earth. As long as all is clear, we've actually got a really nice summer retreat. Everybody's getting to know the lay of the land, too.

One thing that was brought up, recently, was that we can swim in the lake, and in some parts of the river, but what happens if there's an outbreak and we don't leave the walls of the Compound? How will young children learn the very important lesson (and survival skill) of swimming? Well, that lead us to the decision that we should make a relatively small outdoor pool. Fortunately, we've done so well with our "farm revenue" that a majority decision was made to turn the outdoor pool into an indoor pool. Nothing fancy, but enough that it is still somewhat useable in the winter. (We haven't discovered any geothermal activity in the area, so heating a pool to any great degree just isn't feasible. On the other hand, using wetsuits are an option.)

So, speaking of farm revenue, we have an abundance of milk. As previously posted, a single milk-producing cow can make more milk in a day than most people can use. While we're in "peace time" and there are only a few people living on the Compound at any one time, one of the caretakers got it in their head that instead of selling off the excess milk, why not use some of it to get into simple dairy product production. They've started making butter, a couple types of cheeses, yogurt, and ice cream. For the latter two, there are plenty of berries that can be found in the wilderness. Makes for some tasty treats. Other than the ice cream, all the others are being sold to local markets (which are not very local, really) for a decent little profit.

Additional to the dairy revenue stream, we've already butchered some pigs and chickens and sold them, too. Eggs, as well. We're not quite ready for beef, but that's okay. We're doing quite well.

That last statement requires a disclaimer: We're doing well considering nobody is having to support a family or business in a large city with the revenue. It's really just a matter of thinking of it as "bonus" money. It just lessens the burden that this endeavor has placed on all of us so we can put more of our income into the mortgage and taxes, than into improvements. (Like the pool.)

Other developments at the Compound involve power generation. During the warmer months, we get a decent amount of sunshine, so every roof has solar panels on them. Additionally, there is a small stream that runs through the property, and we've turned that into a small hydro-electric generating system. The small dam allows us create a decent-sized reservoir for livestock, but also helps supplement power in the early spring when there's lots of run-off and not a lot of sunshine.

There isn't much of a drain on power since only a few people are on site at any given time, but tests show that we have more than enough battery power to get us through most of the year, even with a larger population to support. Although there is wind, there isn't enough in the area to support a wind-turbine. There's a small hill not too far from the Compound that could likely support a couple windmills, but the distance plays a factor as we couldn't generate enough voltage to get the power back to the Compound. Perhaps a vibro-wind generator would work within the Compound.

Recently, one of our people started looking into beekeeping. Nothing's happened at the Compound, but a small population of bees would be great for honey and the pollination of the crops. We've got more than enough space to not have to worry about bee stings from a small colony of bee hives.

Speaking of crops, that's the toughest part of this. We're fairly far north, so not a lot wants to grow. (It wasn't farmland to begin with, either.) The good news is we're creating a lot of compost, which, in turn, can be used back in the soil to make things easier to grow. Greenhouses are becoming an ever-increasingly popular option. It's not so much that we can't get anything to grow, far from it. It's that we're trying to grow a wide variety of things. Part of it for crop rotation, but mostly for the variety of our diet.

While we don't currently have enough living units to support our initial population, currently less than half, we're about to break ground on a few new bungalows. The plan is to have a variety of living quarters, but each is suited (within reason) to each couples' specifications. None will be more than 2 floors, and those with 2 floors must have a below-grade basement as one of the floors; we don't want "highrises" to be visible from over the walls. Although more or less situated in the middle of the land, they're as spaced out as far as possible, to allow for more privacy, fire safety, and less of a burden on the underground water supplies (we try not to rely upon the stream).

There's a central communal building for socializing and business matters, as well as learning and health care. In the basement of that building, deeper than normal, is a shop for metal and wood works. When all the doors are closed to the basement, nothing can be heard above ground. Once it's all complete, that is. Early tests show that it's pretty well sound-insulated, but the building is not completed, yet.

We've all taught our children to refer to this place, when they speak of it, as a "summer cottage", and that there's "a farm nearby". None of which is a lie, but it's misleading enough that people don't inquire much further. (We don't speak about which towns are nearby, so the only thing the children can say is "it's up north, somewhere.")

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Part 11 - Resource Management

I was originally going to post about something else in Part 11, but instead I have to respond to an e-mail I received from a friend.

"Dude, am I to believe you bought a chunk of land in Northern [deleted] and now have a farm and a frickin' compound up there? How the [edit] can you afford that?!" - name and address withheld.

The answer to the first question is: Yes.

The answer to the second question is: Some bad news followed by some good luck.

Not long before I started this blog, and the preparation, a family member passed away and we received a decent inheritance. It wasn't enough to retire on, by any means, but it was enough to kick-start our plans. We took a large chunk of it, $50k, and started buying stocks. The economy was bad, stock prices were down (Dec. 2008), so what better time to start buying?

We chose ten stocks, put $5k into each of them, and got out in May of this year. We lost everything on three of the stocks, broke even on another three, but did fairly well on four of them (GMAC, Nvidia, Apple, and Ford). Our $50k become a little under $80k.

The land we purchased was listed at just under $200k, but it had been on the market for some time, so we managed to get it for a little under $180k (including fees). Our stock bonanza mostly went towards the down payment on the land. The balance was paid off by getting $10k from each couple. Another $10k was received from everybody in order to get the land ready.

Instead of building a settlement on the land, first, we decided to isolate the land. As we're looking at about 40 acres, we wanted to make sure we had a very well defined border; a big, strong, fence was required. The fence also went deep into the earth to avoid tunneling (by people, not zombies). We also had to make sure we had buffer zones and good sightlines from within the property. It also all had to be camouflaged for outsiders looking in. This is not an inexpensive endeavor.

All told, we now have a well-protected, somewhat hidden (except by air) compound that would take an army to break into. We're well funded, because everybody pitches in.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Part 10 - Population Concerns

It's been well over a year since my last update, but don't think I haven't been busy. There have been two things that I've been working on, in order to ensure post-zombie-outbreak success.

  1. Secure and build a compound in a remote location that can sustain a small population of people and animals.
  2. Find the people to make up the population for #1.
Today, I'll discuss point #2, and leave the progress of #1 for a later post.

Originally, I was going to take this in the direction of how would I have to go about repopulating the Earth. The more I thought about it, the more I determined that this was unlikely to be required. I doubt I'd be the only person that would have the foresight to prepare for an outbreak. What I would need to do is sustain, if not slightly grow, a small population over a generation, or two.

Since zombies can't reproduce, in the sense that plants and animals can, and they can't repair themselves (they're rotting from the moment they're "born"), all one needs to do is outlast them. Unfortunately, we're talking about having to outlast easily millions, potentially billions, of them.

The first 5-10 years of a world-wide epidemic would likely be the toughest, so the actual need to go beyond a generation, or two, is pretty slim. Having said that, it's better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

With that in mind, I'm looking at needing a genetically varied group. Of the top generation, or oldest, there can be no siblings. I've read the number of people required for re-population is anywhere as low as 32, and as high as 50. I wouldn't want to put too much of a strain on the resources, should the need to go another generation arise, and, as I previously mentioned, I'm not looking to be the Garden of Eden, either. With that in mind, I think 24 genetically diverse people would be enough; 12 couples.

If each couple had 2 children (replacements, if you will), then we'd have a sustained population of 48 people. As we'd likely want to group the population slightly, and would have to consider a 3rd generation, then 72 people would be the optimum population of the compound. Keeping in mind death is not so much a risk as a reality, having 3 children should be taken into account. The compound should be designed to operate with a population of 100 people. But we'll save that for the next post.

So, do I just go out and grab 24 people and ask them to be a part of the plan? I wish it were that simple.

No, the two dozen people need to be healthy, trustworthy, of similar mindsets regarding their outlook on life, and should have a required skill.

Right... required skills.

We need a doctor, a veterinarian, a farmer, a mechanic, an electrician, a carpenter, an engineer, teachers of various qualifications, a millwright, a blacksmith/weaponsmith, a hunter/soldier, a martial artist, a chef, a chiropractor/masseuse, and a seamstress. One of each of those represents a little over half the population. What do the rest of the people do? Learn. And work.

Each person should be between the ages of 20 and 40. (If older than 35, they should already have 2 kids.)

Another thing each person needs to have: a high level of self-preservation; a killer instinct. The single biggest threat to continued survival (as anybody who has ever seen any kind of outbreak movie can attest to) is not the zombies, but other people. This may sound harsh, but anybody coming across the compound, from the outside, will likely require termination.

In the past year and a half, I've managed to find 22 such people. (My wife and I make it 24.) Many live in the city I live in, some would have to travel to make it to the compound, but none would need to come from further away than I currently do. Most importantly, everybody knows somebody else, and I know most of them. There's only a single degree of separation between any 2 individuals. This is important because birds of a feather tend to flock together.

Some individuals are current learning additional skills. We're currently operating under a "best-case" scenario that everybody chosen actually makes it to the compound when the time is right. Because of that, each person (or couple) is required to make a "pilgrimage" to the compound at least twice a year. One time must be in the winter months, and the mode of travel must never be the same. This helps increase the chances of arriving alive, should a real outbreak occur. (Once at the compound, they spend a few days there helping out on the farm, or adding to the compound's buildings and defenses.)

Each person is currently contributing towards a stockpile of physical resources (metals, seeds, weapons, etc) and knowledge (books and manuals).

A few key individuals are living at the compound, right now, operating as caretakers. As it's a farm, producing goods, they're living off the land, and selling the surplus, which circles back to upgrading the compound's current situation.

I'll cover that in the next post.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Water Problems

I needed a few days of sunshine before I could address a problem I encountered with the water system I had planned and installed.

You see, what I didn't take into account was that the mattresses, by themselves, have a bit of weight. So, there needs to be some water pressure to fill the mattress to its limit. Otherwise, all that happens (has happened) is the weight of the mattress (the top half) is greater than the weight of the water column above it and the mattress doesn't rise, which means the water doesn't flow, which means the water overflows at the entry point (i.e. my roof).

So, at first I thought I would just need to increase the amount of water in the water column. This could easily be accomplished by creating a reservoir at the collection point. Unfortunately, that would mean I'd be collecting water on my roof. I don't want the water to spend any time up there collecting other stuff... including birds. So, that was out of the question (and, it turns out, a moot point).

The other way to increase the weight of the water column would be to increase the size of the piping and tubing I'm using. All I'd have to do is make sure the weight of the water (at 62 pounds per cubic foot) was greater than the weight of the top half of the mattress. Easy peasy, right?

Wrong. Well, almost wrong. The water gets filtered before entering the mattress, which means it slows at that point. I can't have high pressure water entering the filter; it makes it less effective as a filter.

At this point, I thought I'd have to do the other solution of having to suspend the mattress from the roof, with the bottom of the mattress just resting on the floor. A few strips of plastic, super-glued to the top of the mattress, in loops, and I could easily take the weight off the incoming water.

But then I had another idea... moments before implementing the change.

All I'd need to do is install the filter at the top of the assembly, just under the hole in the roof, and attach it to the house. (Previously, I just had it lying loose on top of the mattress.) Then, I can create a reservoir beneath the filter, but above the mattress. As I had been using fairly standard tubing in the system, I found I had to replace almost all of it with a bigger diameter of pipe. I figured if I hit a cubic foot of water above the mattress (but below the filter), then I'd have no issues with water pressure. (The mattress weighs a lot less than 60 pounds, but I like the idea of having more water pressure than needed.)

So, I got 1 foot of 14" Schedule 40 PVC pipe, which, all by itself would give me a water volume of about 0.94 cubic feet (or just under 59 lbs of water). After attaching it to the filter, I bolted it to the house, and then connected it to the mattress with a short length of tubing.

Done.

(Well, almost done. I have 2 of these setups. So it's off to do the other one. I also had to wrap the reservoir in foam to deaden the sound of dripping water when it rains. It's not always full because it's bigger than it needs to be. I kept thinking there was a leak up there so I kept having to check up on it the first time it rained.)

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Part 9 - The Four Food Groups

In the previous post, I explained the need for a long-term, isolated, defensible, sustainable compound. The one aspect that prevents me from undertaking an immediate search for the right property is the size of it. (Money will prevent me from buying it, but that'll be addressed later.)

Size requirements are dependant upon two things; 1) how much land do you need to sustain food as a resource, and 2) how much land do you need to live on. This post strictly deals with the first issue.

In other words, if I want to be able to live, long term, in an isolated area, I'll need to grow/raise my own food. How much space does that require?

Thus, I need to figure out how much room I need for the four food groups: Cattle, Pig, Chicken, and Vegetation.

The last one is easy, so I'll start there.

A family of four can get great use out of a composter of 3 cubic feet. Between waste composting and livestock manure, enough fertilizer/soil will be generated to ensure a healthy garden or pasture. (Of course, this assumes the right balance of nitrogen and carbon in the compost.)

My maternal grandparents used to have a garden in their backyard in the prairies. They grew enough carrots and peas to keep me, my sister, and all the cousins well fed... until we were told we'd eaten enough. Oh, and it was enough for them, and whoever they could feed. That was just a backyard garden. What I'm saying is, with the right mix of vegetables, and whatnot, you can grow enough food in a garden to keep yourself well fed for a long time. To keep things simple, and this will make more sense after the next post, I'm going to decide on one whole acre be dedicated to gardening. Holy crap, you say, that's a lot of land for a garden! Yes, but as I said, next post.

(Fruit trees would be carefully placed around the compound, so they don't require space set aside for them.)

In my research on livestock, I have determined that the "critical path" for space is with cattle. Cattle produce not just meat (beef!), but also dairy and leather. On top of that, they require the most space. A 1000lb beast needs about 1 acre of pasture. That 1000lb beast will also produce about 4 tons of manure per year; a pasture of 1 acre needs about 10 tons of manure per year. Also, that 1000lb animal will yield about 430lbs of meat. To get a sense of how much meat that is, a family of 4, each eating an 8 ounce steak every night, would take just over 7 months to eat that much. And that's just beef.

You can only have so many bulls around (one), so any male calves will typically be butchered for veal. Sad, but true.

A cow will also produce an average of 20 litres of milk per day. Per day. Regardless of what my next post reveals, 20 litres of milk per day is almost unusable. So, for dairy purposes alone, I wouldn't want more than 2 cows at any one time (1 being a back-up in case of disease or any other unavoidable circumstances).

So, how many critters are we talking about here? For my compound, I'd want to start with 1 young bull and 4 heifers (or a couple heifers and a couple cows). Gestation period for cattle is 40 weeks, and they need 45-60 days to "rest" before rebreeding. A cow needs to be retired at around 12-14 years old, and a bull needs to be retired after about 8-10 years. (By the way, the limiting factor on the bull isn't age so much as size; they can get quite heavy and really do some damage during mating.) Between 12-16 months of age, the cattle will be 1000-1300 pounds, and are then ready for processing. Using all those numbers, I'd come up with a plan for maintaining the size of the heard based on needs.

What we really want to know here, though, is how much land will I need. Well, I said a 1000lb bovine will need an acre of land. If I plan on starting with 5 cattle, that means I need 5 acres, right? Wrong. 5 cattle on the same 5 acres would strip it down over time and I'd be left with 5 starving animals. What I would do is have at least 2 pastures (more on that later) of 5 acres, and rotate the animals between them, allowing 3-4 weeks rest for each pasture before letting the beasts graze there again. Cattle can't just eat grass, either, so I'd have to have some land to grow other types of feed, as well.

So, let's say 3 pastures of 5 acres each, plus another acre for feed growing - and the acre for the garden - and we're looking at 17 acres for livestock and farming.

But wait. What about the other livestock? I had mentioned the Pig food group and the Chicken food group, earlier.

That's right, but they don't need any additional land. As pigs and chickens have different dietary needs than cattle, and different grazing patterns, I can put each of them in one of the pastures not used by the cattle.

So... pigs, eh? Pigs seem to be the easiest to care for. They are also the most like humans. They need shelter, food, water, and attention. Yes, attention. They can be slaughtered when they reach 240 lbs, ideally. Females can first become pregnant between 8 and 18 months, and males become sexually active between 8 and 10 months. (Gestation is 16 weeks, and a litter can be 6-12 piglets). Pigs will each just about anything (including wood... so I have to be careful when making structures/pens for them). Pigs usually live 10 years, but that would be unlikely in this situation considered they're made of bacon. I'd only need a few pigs on the farm to sustain infinite bacon.

From what I've read, chickens seem to have complex dietary needs (protein is very important; soybeans, peanuts, sesame, safflower, sunflower...), and yet some of my research shows that free range chickens can have healthy diets, just let loose in a pasture, because they eat a lot of insects. Egg layers are effective for about 3 years, and chickens tend to live 7-8 years, but chicks hatch from the eggs (under the right environmental conditions) in only 3 weeks. After 3 years, I'm sure most of the chickens would end up on a plate or in a bowl. Sustaining a chicken population shouldn't be too difficult. Fish meal is very important for egg production, so the land would benefit from being close to water where fish can be caught and processed.

Now, buying these animals is another ballgame. A head of cattle could run about $1,000 per head; a pig runs under $100; a chicken under $10. All told, for just the livestock, I'd need to drop about $6,000.

... But it's the land that's really going to cost me. (More on that later.)

At least now I know how much land I'll need for food: < 20 acres.

Next post: The Human Genome Project.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Part 8 - Apocalypse?

Previously, everything I've discussed, planned, and executed on were for a local, short-term, but severe outbreak. What if things were worse than that? My current plans take me though a year, or so. What if things were so bad that staying here, even in a well-stocked, fortified position was a death sentence?

I'm in need of a compound, and one where most people will not be.

I'll start with a checklist, which I'll expand on afterward, of what the land should be:
  • For sale.
  • Undeveloped.
  • Almost inaccessible.
  • Waterfront (lake, ocean, or large river).
  • Easily defensible.
  • Able to support agriculture.
  • Able to support livestock.
  • Large.
  • Cold.
Okay, now taking each of those and breaking them down.

I don't want to rent the land, it would need to be for sale. The last thing I want is to rent a large plot of land and then have the owner show up during the apocalypse asking for his land back. Wouldn't that be a nightmare?

Undeveloped land is more important because it's cheaper, likely off the grid, and it might not even have any roads leading to it. Also, you're now having to work with what's already there, or pay a price to alter the existing structures/infrastructures. Remember, having a road leading to your safe haven is just an invitation for unwanted visitors.

Speaking of which, I want the land to be almost impossible to get to. A zombie will walk until it rots away to nothing. Being far, far away from population centers doesn't just help reduce the chance of zombie encounters, but also encounters with the living.

Having waterfront property helps on several fronts. It can be a source of fresh water. It can be a means of travel (heaven forbid you should want to go anywhere). It can also be a source of hydro-electric power (if it's a river). Most importantly, it can be a source of food.

I wouldn't want to buy a bunch of land in the prairies, in a pleasant little valley, nor on the top of a mountain. Having said that, I want the land to be easily defensible; taking advantage of the terrain as much as possible. Part of being defensible means being invisible, too. Ultimately, everything so far points towards being on a largish island in the middle of a large, remote lake. That could, however, be a pipe dream.

The plan for a compound assumes longer than a year, maybe upwards of a decade. For this, you'd need to grow your own food. The land would need to be arable.

Ironically, in an effort to avoid being a piece of meat, I'd personally want access to meat. My fortress of solitude would have room for cows, pigs, and chickens. This alone brings up two huge concerns. 1) Cows need a lot of land. 2) Animals are noisy and zombies are attracted to sounds.

With everything I've listed so far, the area I'd need keeps growing and growing and growing... and it's not done yet. The plot would have to be large enough to support a small community. What? Community? Yes. It is one thing to keep your family safe. It's another to protect the species. There would need to be enough space for several families to be able to live, peacefully, together without the fear of overcrowding.

The last, but not least, point is the climate needs to be cold. Now, I'm not looking to cross into the Arctic Circle, as that alone would be an almost death sentence. No, that would be too extreme. However, North is definitely a wiser, safer choice than South. East wouldn't be too bad, but that's where the majority of this continent's population lives.

Okay, so now that I've given a brief breakdown of what I'm looking for, what are the next steps?

I need to research (future posts!) the size requirements. Then, I'll need to determine who gets involved and arrange for capital. Once that's all done, it's a relatively simple matter of plugging the high-level information into the real estate website and do a search for available properties. Hell, right now there are close to 100 waterfront properties, all under $100k, within my current geographic boundaries (that number goes over 1,000 properties if you remove the waterfront requirement).

Next installment: Bovines and Chickens and Pigs! Oh my!

Monday, March 02, 2009

Progress - An Update

It's been awhile since I've posted, but not due to any local outbreaks.

I've been in a holding pattern, and was awaiting certain things to sort themselves out. Here's the lowdown:
  • Doors: I had found some fire doors on Craigslist, and awaited their arrival. All three doors, including the frames, arrive, and have finally been installed in the basement. (I had a tough time convincing my father, who was helping, that these doors were necessary, but that the rest of the house didn't need them... without mentiong the Zed word.) The one on the back of the house doesn't get seen by anybody but the few people who walk their dogs nearby, but it doesn't look like a regular door, so I had to paint it to look like all the other doors in the complex. It only looks "fake" when you're up close. Luckily, the door is in constant shade, and not near any foot traffic, so I'm good there. The front door will be an issue. I'm still looking into a suitable replacement. The sliding door in the basement is a huge concern (glass!), but having a lockable firedoor from that room to the rest of the house, which opens inwards to the room, helps maintain a safe domestic environment. (Note to self: banging on these doors is LOUD. Seek noise remedy.)
  • Windows: The basement window (in the bathroom) has been barred. Only the General Lee could pull that thing clear. The Kitchen window and frosted window by the front door will be replaced by something sturdy when finances allow for it.
  • Windows (part 2): I'm working on a way to "black out" the bedroom windows and the skylight in the stairwell, without looking like they're boarded up or blacked out. I don't want to draw attention to them from humans seeking shelter/protection/food during an outbreak. I want the place to look deserted, not fortified. At night, only the bedrooms will have lights on, so if it can look like the curtains are open, but it's dark inside, perfect.
  • Solar Panels: I had been waiting to hear back from the Strata Council regarding installation of a few solar panels on the roof. After some back-and-forth correspondence, I convinced them that it wouldn't be very green of them to not allow me to install them "tastefully". I'm also going to cheat a little and use them to help me collect rain water, but Strata doesn't know about that. I'm currently negotiating purchase of a few panels with a few different suppliers.
  • Attic: After poking my head through the ceiling to see what it was like up there, it's actually quite sturdy, but it's just beams and insulation; no flat surfaces. The access to it is less than 3 feet on a side, so it's not like I can just throw some plywood up there. Well, I can but I'll have to cut the sheets first so they'll fit. Once that is done (I have the required amount of plywood already), I'll be able to make a floor up there to store food and water.
  • Water: Once the attic is fixed up, I'll be able to get the water collection started. I have the water mattresses, tubing, piping, valves, and charcoal filters, I just need to figure out where to put them, and where to cut the hole in the roof to bring the rainwater in. Once the solar panels are being installed, I'll be able to do this "undercover" at the same time. Should the mattresses fill up, and I'm running a surplus, I'm going to rig something to automatically fill the tank on the upstairs toilet so as to be a little "greener" in the meantime.
  • Shark suit: I have not heard back from Neptunic regarding the shark feeder sleeves. I don't think they're taking me seriously. I don't think I should've mentioned "human bites" in my e-mail. If anybody knows how much these things go for (see Part 5, below), please let me know.
  • Food: I've slowly been accumulating non-perishable food by the case. My wife will be happy once it finds a home out of sight. It's clogging up the basement hallway. It'll all end up in the attic, shortly.
  • Stairs: I haven't touched them, yet. For now, they'll stay in one piece. (This whole exercise has been costly, this'll have to wait.) In the meantime, I have one very sharp axe. Very sharp.
More later.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Part 7 - Exercise

This one is simple. There's only 2 things you really need to be in shape for during a zombie outbreak: Walking and swinging (or thrusting).

Everything else is gravy.

I covered the swinging issue previously when I mentioned going to either the batting cages or the driving range. Of course, those cost money.

A couple free things would be to chop wood or get a tennis racket, a few balls, and find a wall somewhere were you can spend hours hitting the ball to yourself.

Gotta keep the core strong. (Stretching is also a good thing.)

But there's no need to buy a home gym, or start marathon training. Zombies don't go much faster than a toddler learning to walk. If you can walk, then you're faster than a zombie. Having said that, you don't want to kite a horde of zombies to your destination, so yes, faster is better. Speed walking is the most efficient way to travel (unaided), when trying to get some distance between yourself and the undead.

The best way to traverse greater distances (unpowered) would be by bicycle. A mountain bike would get you just about anywhere you need to go. An Enduro-style motorcycle is the best way to go if you require motorized transportation. Great on gas and able to go just about anywhere (legally, too). Having said that, I don't like motorcycles.

I need a bicycle. The last one I owned I sold after cycling around Europe with it. That was 17 years and 50 pounds ago. The family will need to be equipped, too. Child seats would be the current order of business, graduating to their own bikes as they get older.

Back to walking.

I'm gonna go out and get a new pair of boots, something that is light, waterproof, but has a decent tread for off-path hiking. The Nike boots I own have been great, but they're at least 15 years old. I should start breaking in another pair.

I live in a neighbourhood where bears are a concern all year around (only the males in the winter), which means I'm within walking distance of wilderness. Being out of shape, the bad news is said wilderness is up the side of the mountain I live at the base of. Trying to get into shape, the good news is I live at the foot of a mountain. There are a couple lakes nearby where I can walk around, cycle around, or even swim in, if need be. (Don't swim during an outbreak, however, as you could get grabbed from below, if it's shallow enough.)

So... I'm going to walk more (pushing a stroller, too), get a bike and start cycling, and training for "sports" without actually playing the game.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Question - Trapped in a Mall.

A friend sent me a questionnaire. I'm re-wording it, slightly, but here it is:

If you were trapped in a mall during a Level 4 Outbreak:
  1. What music would you have playing? (a single, an album, and a genre)
  2. What would be your weapon of choice? (fictional and non-fictional)
  3. Who would you have fight with you? (fictional and non-fictional)
My answers:
  1. Single: Sexy M.F. by Prince. Album: Wolfmother by Wolfmother. Genre: rock 'n roll.
  2. Fictional: Lightsaber. Non-Fictional: Entrenching tool.
  3. Fictional: Yoda ('cause he's bad-ass, and could train me to use the lightsaber). Non-Fictional: Alexander Ovechkin.