Water Problems

I needed a few days of sunshine before I could address a problem I encountered with the water system I had planned and installed.

You see, what I didn't take into account was that the mattresses, by themselves, have a bit of weight. So, there needs to be some water pressure to fill the mattress to its limit. Otherwise, all that happens (has happened) is the weight of the mattress (the top half) is greater than the weight of the water column above it and the mattress doesn't rise, which means the water doesn't flow, which means the water overflows at the entry point (i.e. my roof).

So, at first I thought I would just need to increase the amount of water in the water column. This could easily be accomplished by creating a reservoir at the collection point. Unfortunately, that would mean I'd be collecting water on my roof. I don't want the water to spend any time up there collecting other stuff... including birds. So, that was out of the question (and, it turns out, a moot point).

The other way to increase the weight of the water column would be to increase the size of the piping and tubing I'm using. All I'd have to do is make sure the weight of the water (at 62 pounds per cubic foot) was greater than the weight of the top half of the mattress. Easy peasy, right?

Wrong. Well, almost wrong. The water gets filtered before entering the mattress, which means it slows at that point. I can't have high pressure water entering the filter; it makes it less effective as a filter.

At this point, I thought I'd have to do the other solution of having to suspend the mattress from the roof, with the bottom of the mattress just resting on the floor. A few strips of plastic, super-glued to the top of the mattress, in loops, and I could easily take the weight off the incoming water.

But then I had another idea... moments before implementing the change.

All I'd need to do is install the filter at the top of the assembly, just under the hole in the roof, and attach it to the house. (Previously, I just had it lying loose on top of the mattress.) Then, I can create a reservoir beneath the filter, but above the mattress. As I had been using fairly standard tubing in the system, I found I had to replace almost all of it with a bigger diameter of pipe. I figured if I hit a cubic foot of water above the mattress (but below the filter), then I'd have no issues with water pressure. (The mattress weighs a lot less than 60 pounds, but I like the idea of having more water pressure than needed.)

So, I got 1 foot of 14" Schedule 40 PVC pipe, which, all by itself would give me a water volume of about 0.94 cubic feet (or just under 59 lbs of water). After attaching it to the filter, I bolted it to the house, and then connected it to the mattress with a short length of tubing.

Done.

(Well, almost done. I have 2 of these setups. So it's off to do the other one. I also had to wrap the reservoir in foam to deaden the sound of dripping water when it rains. It's not always full because it's bigger than it needs to be. I kept thinking there was a leak up there so I kept having to check up on it the first time it rained.)

Part 9 - The Four Food Groups

In the previous post, I explained the need for a long-term, isolated, defensible, sustainable compound. The one aspect that prevents me from undertaking an immediate search for the right property is the size of it. (Money will prevent me from buying it, but that'll be addressed later.)

Size requirements are dependant upon two things; 1) how much land do you need to sustain food as a resource, and 2) how much land do you need to live on. This post strictly deals with the first issue.

In other words, if I want to be able to live, long term, in an isolated area, I'll need to grow/raise my own food. How much space does that require?

Thus, I need to figure out how much room I need for the four food groups: Cattle, Pig, Chicken, and Vegetation.

The last one is easy, so I'll start there.

A family of four can get great use out of a composter of 3 cubic feet. Between waste composting and livestock manure, enough fertilizer/soil will be generated to ensure a healthy garden or pasture. (Of course, this assumes the right balance of nitrogen and carbon in the compost.)

My maternal grandparents used to have a garden in their backyard in the prairies. They grew enough carrots and peas to keep me, my sister, and all the cousins well fed... until we were told we'd eaten enough. Oh, and it was enough for them, and whoever they could feed. That was just a backyard garden. What I'm saying is, with the right mix of vegetables, and whatnot, you can grow enough food in a garden to keep yourself well fed for a long time. To keep things simple, and this will make more sense after the next post, I'm going to decide on one whole acre be dedicated to gardening. Holy crap, you say, that's a lot of land for a garden! Yes, but as I said, next post.

(Fruit trees would be carefully placed around the compound, so they don't require space set aside for them.)

In my research on livestock, I have determined that the "critical path" for space is with cattle. Cattle produce not just meat (beef!), but also dairy and leather. On top of that, they require the most space. A 1000lb beast needs about 1 acre of pasture. That 1000lb beast will also produce about 4 tons of manure per year; a pasture of 1 acre needs about 10 tons of manure per year. Also, that 1000lb animal will yield about 430lbs of meat. To get a sense of how much meat that is, a family of 4, each eating an 8 ounce steak every night, would take just over 7 months to eat that much. And that's just beef.

You can only have so many bulls around (one), so any male calves will typically be butchered for veal. Sad, but true.

A cow will also produce an average of 20 litres of milk per day. Per day. Regardless of what my next post reveals, 20 litres of milk per day is almost unusable. So, for dairy purposes alone, I wouldn't want more than 2 cows at any one time (1 being a back-up in case of disease or any other unavoidable circumstances).

So, how many critters are we talking about here? For my compound, I'd want to start with 1 young bull and 4 heifers (or a couple heifers and a couple cows). Gestation period for cattle is 40 weeks, and they need 45-60 days to "rest" before rebreeding. A cow needs to be retired at around 12-14 years old, and a bull needs to be retired after about 8-10 years. (By the way, the limiting factor on the bull isn't age so much as size; they can get quite heavy and really do some damage during mating.) Between 12-16 months of age, the cattle will be 1000-1300 pounds, and are then ready for processing. Using all those numbers, I'd come up with a plan for maintaining the size of the heard based on needs.

What we really want to know here, though, is how much land will I need. Well, I said a 1000lb bovine will need an acre of land. If I plan on starting with 5 cattle, that means I need 5 acres, right? Wrong. 5 cattle on the same 5 acres would strip it down over time and I'd be left with 5 starving animals. What I would do is have at least 2 pastures (more on that later) of 5 acres, and rotate the animals between them, allowing 3-4 weeks rest for each pasture before letting the beasts graze there again. Cattle can't just eat grass, either, so I'd have to have some land to grow other types of feed, as well.

So, let's say 3 pastures of 5 acres each, plus another acre for feed growing - and the acre for the garden - and we're looking at 17 acres for livestock and farming.

But wait. What about the other livestock? I had mentioned the Pig food group and the Chicken food group, earlier.

That's right, but they don't need any additional land. As pigs and chickens have different dietary needs than cattle, and different grazing patterns, I can put each of them in one of the pastures not used by the cattle.

So... pigs, eh? Pigs seem to be the easiest to care for. They are also the most like humans. They need shelter, food, water, and attention. Yes, attention. They can be slaughtered when they reach 240 lbs, ideally. Females can first become pregnant between 8 and 18 months, and males become sexually active between 8 and 10 months. (Gestation is 16 weeks, and a litter can be 6-12 piglets). Pigs will each just about anything (including wood... so I have to be careful when making structures/pens for them). Pigs usually live 10 years, but that would be unlikely in this situation considered they're made of bacon. I'd only need a few pigs on the farm to sustain infinite bacon.

From what I've read, chickens seem to have complex dietary needs (protein is very important; soybeans, peanuts, sesame, safflower, sunflower...), and yet some of my research shows that free range chickens can have healthy diets, just let loose in a pasture, because they eat a lot of insects. Egg layers are effective for about 3 years, and chickens tend to live 7-8 years, but chicks hatch from the eggs (under the right environmental conditions) in only 3 weeks. After 3 years, I'm sure most of the chickens would end up on a plate or in a bowl. Sustaining a chicken population shouldn't be too difficult. Fish meal is very important for egg production, so the land would benefit from being close to water where fish can be caught and processed.

Now, buying these animals is another ballgame. A head of cattle could run about $1,000 per head; a pig runs under $100; a chicken under $10. All told, for just the livestock, I'd need to drop about $6,000.

... But it's the land that's really going to cost me. (More on that later.)

At least now I know how much land I'll need for food: < 20 acres.

Next post: The Human Genome Project.

Part 8 - Apocalypse?

Previously, everything I've discussed, planned, and executed on were for a local, short-term, but severe outbreak. What if things were worse than that? My current plans take me though a year, or so. What if things were so bad that staying here, even in a well-stocked, fortified position was a death sentence?

I'm in need of a compound, and one where most people will not be.

I'll start with a checklist, which I'll expand on afterward, of what the land should be:

• For sale.
• Undeveloped.
  
• Almost inaccessible.
• Waterfront (lake, ocean, or large river).
• Easily defensible.
• Able to support agriculture.
• Able to support livestock.
• Large.
• Cold.
  

Okay, now taking each of those and breaking them down.

I don't want to rent the land, it would need to be for sale. The last thing I want is to rent a large plot of land and then have the owner show up during the apocalypse asking for his land back. Wouldn't that be a nightmare?

Undeveloped land is more important because it's cheaper, likely off the grid, and it might not even have any roads leading to it. Also, you're now having to work with what's already there, or pay a price to alter the existing structures/infrastructures. Remember, having a road leading to your safe haven is just an invitation for unwanted visitors.

Speaking of which, I want the land to be almost impossible to get to. A zombie will walk until it rots away to nothing. Being far, far away from population centers doesn't just help reduce the chance of zombie encounters, but also encounters with the living.

Having waterfront property helps on several fronts. It can be a source of fresh water. It can be a means of travel (heaven forbid you should want to go anywhere). It can also be a source of hydro-electric power (if it's a river). Most importantly, it can be a source of food.

I wouldn't want to buy a bunch of land in the prairies, in a pleasant little valley, nor on the top of a mountain. Having said that, I want the land to be easily defensible; taking advantage of the terrain as much as possible. Part of being defensible means being invisible, too. Ultimately, everything so far points towards being on a largish island in the middle of a large, remote lake. That could, however, be a pipe dream.

The plan for a compound assumes longer than a year, maybe upwards of a decade. For this, you'd need to grow your own food. The land would need to be arable.

Ironically, in an effort to avoid being a piece of meat, I'd personally want access to meat. My fortress of solitude would have room for cows, pigs, and chickens. This alone brings up two huge concerns. 1) Cows need a lot of land. 2) Animals are noisy and zombies are attracted to sounds.

With everything I've listed so far, the area I'd need keeps growing and growing and growing... and it's not done yet. The plot would have to be large enough to support a small community. What? Community? Yes. It is one thing to keep your family safe. It's another to protect the species. There would need to be enough space for several families to be able to live, peacefully, together without the fear of overcrowding.

The last, but not least, point is the climate needs to be cold. Now, I'm not looking to cross into the Arctic Circle, as that alone would be an almost death sentence. No, that would be too extreme. However, North is definitely a wiser, safer choice than South. East wouldn't be too bad, but that's where the majority of this continent's population lives.

Okay, so now that I've given a brief breakdown of what I'm looking for, what are the next steps?

I need to research (future posts!) the size requirements. Then, I'll need to determine who gets involved and arrange for capital. Once that's all done, it's a relatively simple matter of plugging the high-level information into the real estate website and do a search for available properties. Hell, right now there are close to 100 waterfront properties, all under $100k, within my current geographic boundaries (that number goes over 1,000 properties if you remove the waterfront requirement).

Next installment: Bovines and Chickens and Pigs! Oh my!

Progress - An Update

It's been awhile since I've posted, but not due to any local outbreaks.

I've been in a holding pattern, and was awaiting certain things to sort themselves out. Here's the lowdown:

• Doors: I had found some fire doors on Craigslist, and awaited their arrival. All three doors, including the frames, arrive, and have finally been installed in the basement. (I had a tough time convincing my father, who was helping, that these doors were necessary, but that the rest of the house didn't need them... without mentiong the Zed word.) The one on the back of the house doesn't get seen by anybody but the few people who walk their dogs nearby, but it doesn't look like a regular door, so I had to paint it to look like all the other doors in the complex. It only looks "fake" when you're up close. Luckily, the door is in constant shade, and not near any foot traffic, so I'm good there. The front door will be an issue. I'm still looking into a suitable replacement. The sliding door in the basement is a huge concern (glass!), but having a lockable firedoor from that room to the rest of the house, which opens inwards to the room, helps maintain a safe domestic environment. (Note to self: banging on these doors is LOUD. Seek noise remedy.)
  
• Windows: The basement window (in the bathroom) has been barred. Only the General Lee could pull that thing clear. The Kitchen window and frosted window by the front door will be replaced by something sturdy when finances allow for it.
• Windows (part 2): I'm working on a way to "black out" the bedroom windows and the skylight in the stairwell, without looking like they're boarded up or blacked out. I don't want to draw attention to them from humans seeking shelter/protection/food during an outbreak. I want the place to look deserted, not fortified. At night, only the bedrooms will have lights on, so if it can look like the curtains are open, but it's dark inside, perfect.
  
• Solar Panels: I had been waiting to hear back from the Strata Council regarding installation of a few solar panels on the roof. After some back-and-forth correspondence, I convinced them that it wouldn't be very green of them to not allow me to install them "tastefully". I'm also going to cheat a little and use them to help me collect rain water, but Strata doesn't know about that. I'm currently negotiating purchase of a few panels with a few different suppliers.
  
• Attic: After poking my head through the ceiling to see what it was like up there, it's actually quite sturdy, but it's just beams and insulation; no flat surfaces. The access to it is less than 3 feet on a side, so it's not like I can just throw some plywood up there. Well, I can but I'll have to cut the sheets first so they'll fit. Once that is done (I have the required amount of plywood already), I'll be able to make a floor up there to store food and water.
• Water: Once the attic is fixed up, I'll be able to get the water collection started. I have the water mattresses, tubing, piping, valves, and charcoal filters, I just need to figure out where to put them, and where to cut the hole in the roof to bring the rainwater in. Once the solar panels are being installed, I'll be able to do this "undercover" at the same time. Should the mattresses fill up, and I'm running a surplus, I'm going to rig something to automatically fill the tank on the upstairs toilet so as to be a little "greener" in the meantime.
• Shark suit: I have not heard back from Neptunic regarding the shark feeder sleeves. I don't think they're taking me seriously. I don't think I should've mentioned "human bites" in my e-mail. If anybody knows how much these things go for (see Part 5, below), please let me know.
• Food: I've slowly been accumulating non-perishable food by the case. My wife will be happy once it finds a home out of sight. It's clogging up the basement hallway. It'll all end up in the attic, shortly.
• Stairs: I haven't touched them, yet. For now, they'll stay in one piece. (This whole exercise has been costly, this'll have to wait.) In the meantime, I have one very sharp axe. Very sharp.
  

More later.

Part 7 - Exercise

This one is simple. There's only 2 things you really need to be in shape for during a zombie outbreak: Walking and swinging (or thrusting).

Everything else is gravy.

I covered the swinging issue previously when I mentioned going to either the batting cages or the driving range. Of course, those cost money.

A couple free things would be to chop wood or get a tennis racket, a few balls, and find a wall somewhere were you can spend hours hitting the ball to yourself.

Gotta keep the core strong. (Stretching is also a good thing.)

But there's no need to buy a home gym, or start marathon training. Zombies don't go much faster than a toddler learning to walk. If you can walk, then you're faster than a zombie. Having said that, you don't want to kite a horde of zombies to your destination, so yes, faster is better. Speed walking is the most efficient way to travel (unaided), when trying to get some distance between yourself and the undead.

The best way to traverse greater distances (unpowered) would be by bicycle. A mountain bike would get you just about anywhere you need to go. An Enduro-style motorcycle is the best way to go if you require motorized transportation. Great on gas and able to go just about anywhere (legally, too). Having said that, I don't like motorcycles.

I need a bicycle. The last one I owned I sold after cycling around Europe with it. That was 17 years and 50 pounds ago. The family will need to be equipped, too. Child seats would be the current order of business, graduating to their own bikes as they get older.

Back to walking.

I'm gonna go out and get a new pair of boots, something that is light, waterproof, but has a decent tread for off-path hiking. The Nike boots I own have been great, but they're at least 15 years old. I should start breaking in another pair.

I live in a neighbourhood where bears are a concern all year around (only the males in the winter), which means I'm within walking distance of wilderness. Being out of shape, the bad news is said wilderness is up the side of the mountain I live at the base of. Trying to get into shape, the good news is I live at the foot of a mountain. There are a couple lakes nearby where I can walk around, cycle around, or even swim in, if need be. (Don't swim during an outbreak, however, as you could get grabbed from below, if it's shallow enough.)

So... I'm going to walk more (pushing a stroller, too), get a bike and start cycling, and training for "sports" without actually playing the game.

Question - Trapped in a Mall.

A friend sent me a questionnaire. I'm re-wording it, slightly, but here it is:

If you were trapped in a mall during a Level 4 Outbreak:

1. What music would you have playing? (a single, an album, and a genre)
   
2. What would be your weapon of choice? (fictional and non-fictional)
3. Who would you have fight with you? (fictional and non-fictional)

My answers:

1. Single: Sexy M.F. by Prince. Album: Wolfmother by Wolfmother. Genre: rock 'n roll.
2. Fictional: Lightsaber. Non-Fictional: Entrenching tool.
3. Fictional: Yoda ('cause he's bad-ass, and could train me to use the lightsaber). Non-Fictional: Alexander Ovechkin.
   

Part 6 - Entertainment

If a Level 3 or 4 outbreak were to occur, as I've mentioned previously, chances are good that we'd lose power. During a prolonged home-defense situation, nerves would get frazzled. Keeping ones mind elsewhere, when not on guard duty, would become very important.

How would you entertain yourself while holed up in your home with no power?... and likely no internet?

Well, as previously mentioned, I'm preparing for the power issue; solar and human dynamo generated power.

Books don't require power, just light to read them (when it's dark). I already own a human powered flashlight. (By the way, we'll be preparing our windows for black-out purposes.) I've also been doing a lot more reading since I've been taking transit to work. So it doesn't hurt to keep buying more books. (I hope the rest of the family likes sci-fi and Tom Clancy books.) Some puzzle books like crosswords or sudoku, would also be good. This book might seem like a good read now, but maybe not during an outbreak.

Our home stereo would be somewhat of a power hog compared to our iMac. The stereo would be good for scanning through the radio waves, but I'd also want a "wind-up" radio; they're portable.

We have several pairs of headphones, so noise won't be an issue.

The iMac, in use, only consumes about 100W. Very easy to accommodate. The iMac plays CDs and DVDs. Most, if not all, of our CDs have already been imported into iTunes. The DVDs, on the other hand, will be finding their way out of the basement and will be stored upstairs. (Out of sight so as to not upset the wife during our current daily lives.) Books will also find their way upstairs from the basement.

I've been collecting a lot of TV shows on DVD, lately.

It doesn't hurt to have educational/reality-based shows, either. For example, I've been watching a lot of Mantracker, Survivorman, and Man Vs. Wild, lately.

Beyond that, we have a few board games, good for family interaction, but they're not suitable for really young children. My daughter got the old board game, Candyland, for Christmas. She can play it over and over and over again. Me? Not so much. We'll have to start including a new board game for the kids each birthday and Christmas.

Puzzles are also a good time-waster. We only have little girl puzzles, so we'll have to look into getting some "big people" puzzles. The more pieces the better.

So, books, music, movies (and TV shows) on disc, puzzles, and radio.

I'd also look into art supplies. Mostly paper and pencil crayons. Keeps the kids busy.

Oh, and back to the iMac. Video games help. Unfortunately, unless you got to a duel-boot configuration, there aren't a lot of games for Apple computers.

Part 5 - Weapons

Today, we went to our local Home Depot to pick up some stuff for around the house (leaking faucet, sand for the kids, saw for the Christmas tree, etc.), so I thought it would be the ideal time for some additional preparations.

Specifically, I bought a crowbar. $20 gets me a very useful tool. The flatter end can be used for jabbing through the front of the face, whilst the other end can be used to cave in skulls. I'd have to be careful not to actually hit with the clawed part as I wouldn't want it to get stuck and get overwhelmed. For a lone assailant, the claw would definitely work, though. I'm considering looking into a titanium model, too. The trade-off for combating Zeds, however, is weight. I wouldn't be expending as much energy with titanium if the need to start swinging arose, but then again, the 8+ lbs of the steel bar lets its weight do much of the work.

Speaking of swinging, I hate baseball. Having said that, $30/hour gets me an hours worth of a hard swinging work out in the local batting cages. Or, for a different swing, that same cost would get me about 5 buckets of golf balls at the nearest driving range.

My father has an old Bolo machete that is heavy enough, and strong enough, to chop down small trees. (Well, any sized tree, really. Given enough time, of course.) In all the years he's had it - which is as long as I can remember - he's never been able to find another one like it. Most machetes that you an find today are lightweight, flimsy, and made of aluminum, or something. His is steel. Heavy steel. Even the one pictured here, although it looks very similar to my father's, is said to weigh just over a pound. Seems a little light from what I recall of Dad's. Might be worth ordering, however.

Although it would be nice to have a katana sword, and there's a company in my hometown that makes them, I can think of a better way to spend $3,000. There are claims of real "battle ready" swords online, starting at only a couple hundred dollars, I'd just have to research it a bit more before going with one that's only the fraction of the price of what I know to be a real sword.

Although not a weapon, I'd be stupid not to consider armour of some kind. I wouldn't want something that limits my freedom of movement, but at the same time it has to be able to withstand the bite of a human being. Well, how 'bout a shark suit? Feeder sleeves (with gloves) can be purchased online. Although not the strongest biter, a Great White's bite is several hundred pounds per square inch, whereas a human's bite is only a couple hundred, at most. So, I'd say the feeder sleeves would work perfectly. I've sent a mail to Neptunic, asking them about pricing of said sleeves. Stay tuned.

Rule #4 (in the ZSG) is the reason why I haven't mentioned guns, yet. Having said that, I would need to apply for a Possession and Aquisition License before purchasing a weapon. Also, guns are loud and would draw attention unless a silencer was used. I'll likely discuss firearms in a future post. Right now, however, I'm going to stick to ammo-less weaponry.

Part 4.1 - Food

I can't believe I failed to mention this previously, but as far as the quantity of food you'll have to buy goes, it's almost imperative that you get a Costco membership. I only say "almost" because there are times when your local supermarket (the one that sells bulk items) just might sell items for cheaper. Most of the time, however, you'll save enough money to more than pay for the annual membership fees.

And to add one more thing: Remove unneeded packaging (recycle it!), and label the items with the date of purchase. Keep an inventory, including the dates, and stay on top of it. The last thing you want is to be surrounded by food that's gone bad because eight years have gone by since you first stored your emergency provisions and you can't go shopping because it's Zombie Day at the mall.

Part 4 - Food

My wife recently pointed out the obvious to me; preparing for a zombie outbreak is just like preparing for a natural disaster. So, the added benefit of being ready for the day the dead walk the earth also means we are prepared for anything from earthquakes to simple power outages from windstorms.

All the power and water (previous post) in the world won't do you any good if you don't have food. Luckily, this is easy; it's only as difficult as you make it.

Most store bought canned goods are good for anywhere between 12-24 months, safely. Some items could last longer... but you must ask whether it's worth the risk. Remember, there won't be any hospitals to visit if you get botulism or salmonella... or anything of the sort.

If you don't want to go to the store, you have the option of canning or drying. I remember drying pasta sauce (among other things) before going on a week-long hiking trip when I was much younger. The dehydrator was nothing more than a cardboard box with some tinfoil in it and a lightbulb. That pasta sauce was fantastic once it was rehydrated on the trail. And who doesn't like canned peaches?

There are tons of resources on the internet regarding either drying or canning; I won't go into details on that. The one thing I will point out, because I haven't really said anything about it, yet, is the home defense plan is really based on a short-to-medium-length stay; Anything more than a year, and there will be other plans made (and more on that later).

So, without getting into how, the biggest questions are what and how much?

Space is an issue, so the type of foods I'll be looking to prepare and store should be very high in nutritional value and calories, but without being bulky. If we can maintain defense of the entire house's envelope, then storage in the cool basement would alleviate many concerns regarding heat. So, what kind of food would I store? WHFoods.com is a fantastic source of information. They even have a list of foods that make the grade and each has a complete breakdown of what's good about the food and also any concerns one might have regarding it. Once I've determined which foods I'll be wanting to store, it's just a matter of finding the right way to store it.

So, after that comes the question of how much do I store? Well, currently I'd want enough for two adults, 1 toddler, and an infant. Granted, if an outbreak doesn't occur in the next 15 years, then I'd make sure our provisions reflect the caloric intake of 2 adults and 2 teenagers. To keep this very simple, we're looking at about 2,000 calories a day for each adult, and 1,000 calories for each child. (Again, keeping it very simple.)

So, not only do I need to have about 6,000 calories of food stored for each day, but we also have to take into account special dietary needs (for the infant). As everybody ages, their needs change, too. So, I will have to keep an inventory of stored provisions and rotate out old or "obsolete" foods.

So, what does 6,000 calories a day look like? Over 10 kg of apples, or about 6.5 kg of bananas, or about 14 kg of carrots, over 3 kg of chicken, over 1 kg of peanuts, 5.5 kg of potatoes or corn, under 3 kg of beef, over 4.5kg of kidney beans, 21 kg of broccoli, almost 5.5 kg of brown rice, over 2.5 kg of salmon, almost 2 kg of honey, or just over 2 kg of maple syrup. Etc, etc, etc. The point is, in a non-fast-food, non-processed world, it's not very easy to overeat as far as the recommended daily intake for calories go, but, in this situation, it means having to store massive quantities of food.

A fantastic alternative would be to grow your own food, but that would require either lots of electricity for indoor hydroponics or exposure to the outdoors. Remember, I'm not fortifying and stockpiling for an extended seige. No, I'm doing all this in the hopes of avoiding detection, so gardening is out of the question, even if it was possible to rig something up on the roof.

I'm going to have to go through the list of foods, find out which ones are the easiest to store, supply the most, and most important, nutrients, and also find out how (and where) I'm going to store them all. Right now, the basement and the attic spaces seem the likely candidates (where it doesn't conflict with heat requirements and water storage, of course.

Next up: Weapons, entertainment, and exercise.

Part 3 - The Homefront

The biggest threat during a zombie outbreak is, of course, the zombies. A close second is your neighbour (both literally and figuratively). It is very important that I keep that in mind.

If I make my home a fortress, and stock it with food, water, and weapons, and anybody notices this, I become the neighbourhood crackpot. During an outbreak, at best I look like a saviour, at worst a target; neither is desirable. I'm going to have provisions for my family, not yours. In other words, the Zeds are the Big Bad Wolf, and I'm the Little Pig who made his house out of bricks and mortar. The difference is, when the Wolf blows your house down, this Little Pig isn't unlocking his door to let you in.

It would be easy enough to prevent zombies from entering a fortified home. Preventing human entry takes it to a whole other level.

So, what does that mean for my current situation? Well, I live in a townhouse complex. My biggest fear is fire. Should any neighbour do something stupid, all my plans are shot to hell, with the exception of my escape plan (TBD).

As I live on a hill, at the foot of a mountain, the front door of my townhome is on one floor, but the back door is one floor down. My first order of business is securing the "basement", followed by the main floor, then isolating the upstairs from the down.

Basement: The door itself is sturdy and has multiple locks. It wouldn't take much to secure it further. The bathroom has a window, but it's about 6 feet up and only about a foot high. This wouldn't be hard to secure either. The weak link in the chain is definitely the "storage" room. It has sliding glass doors. I'll need to either replace those or fortify the room from within or outside. The door to that room opens outwards into the laundry area. That will need to be changed so it opens into the room and can be locked from outside. I think I'll replace all the basement doors with metal fire-rated doors. They won't splinter and can stand up to a decent pounding. (Remember, zombies don't have superhuman strength, they're only as strong as the body they occupy; they just don't feel pain or get tired.) Then again, living in a coastal city, I'm wondering if I could find some cheap bulkhead doors... like you'd find in a submarine. I'll have to look into those options and post the results later.

Main Floor: The front door is like the back door, but it has a slim window beside it. The kitchen has a window, too. Those are the only openings to the outside on that floor. (The living room, on a split-level, has sliding doors, but they open up to a balcony that's one floor above grade; and we all know zombies can't climb.) If I could replace the front windows with transparent aluminum, I'd do that, but since I can't time travel, I'll need to find another way to secure this area without compromising aesthetics (for the time being). Cost is unknown depending on the solution. (Est. <$200)

The next concern, would be the balcony off the living room. As I just mentioned, it's safe from the ground. What it's not safe from, however, is the neighbour's balcony. The dividing wall will need reinforcement. Not much, as it's pretty sturdy, but still, I don't want to risk anybody (even my neighbours) from doing an end-around. Cost is unknown depending on the solution. (Est. <$100)

Finally, there's the matter of isolating the upstairs from the rest of the place. I have a choice; I can either tear out the stairs and rebuild them so they can be removed in a hurry, or I can look into ways of just tearing them out when needed. Again, zombies can't climb very well, and a missing staircase could not be overcome. It wouldn't even need to be all of the stairs, just a few. A simple plank would be enough for us to bypass the hole, if and when things are clear. Cost is unknown depending on the solution. (Est. <$500)

Two of the bedrooms have attic access. In the months we've been living here, we've never bothered to look to see what kind of spaces are up there? Are they built to withstand people being up there? Storage? Or is this something I'll have to work on. Whether the attics are usable or not, they will eventually be used to store provisions.

I'll have to get some solar panels for backup power. In a Level 3 or 4 outbreak, we could lose power and water. A 200 watt solar panel will run just over between $1,300 and $1,500 plus tax. Add some batteries for storage and the hardware required to use that power (converting DC to AC), and you're looking at upwards of $3,500 for a couple panels. The good news is that if you hook that into the grid now, you'll get the benefit of net metering, which is when the utility company buys your unused power from you. It won't pay for itself overnight, but it would take the edge off... and it's a green thing to do. Another option, or addition, is that of a human dynamo machine. Or, in other words, a stationary bike hooked up to some batteries. A single adult could generate 125-200w of power. The upside is "free" power and exercise. The downside is more fuel (food) is required to run the engine (person). Unfortunately, most modern appliances tend to need about 1000w of power. A quick search on the internet shows that most "low wattage" appliances require 500-800w. Add a solar cooker to the mix instead, and you won't need as much power.

As for water, that's only a matter of some piping, a clean surface to capture the rainwater, and something to store it in. You don't want to assume you'll get water during an outbreak. A waterbed mattress would do the trick, but you'd want to make sure the water is filtered and that wherever you put the mattress is strong enough to support the weight (like in the aforementioned attic). A king-sized free-flow bladder costs about $100, and the fill and drain kit is another $20. I'm sure I could get a granulated carbon filter, good for 6 months, for about $10. All told, I think I could get drinkable water for under $300 (I'd need 2 bladders. See below).

Each king-sized bladder holds about 790 liters. Normally, that would only be good for a about five days for my family (320 l/day) using both bladders. Under outbreak conditions, however, I calculated that we could get by with substantially less (45 - 60 litres per day would be the comfort zone), and still not stink to high heaven. Given the annual precipitation of where I live, factor in a water catchment area of about 20 square meters (10 on the North slope of the roof, 10 on the South), and assume the bladders are kept filled during "peace time", we'd have enough water to live all year around. In fact, with the given data, we could use 68 l/day... assuming "average" conditions and regular maintenance.

The biggest potential roadblock to some of these is getting it approved by the strata council in our complex.

So, that takes care of power, water, and some protection (or at the very least, what I need to research further).

Next up? Food... ours, not us.

Part 2 - What Now?

Preparing for a zombie outbreak is kinda like preparing for how you're going to spend your money if you win the lottery; you can do all the planning you want, but chances are you'll never have the opportunity to follow through on those plans, and even if you do get the chance, you cannot predict how things will actually happen.

Having said that, two things immediately apply: 1) Fail to plan, plan to fail. 2) It's better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.

The first thing I'm considering is how to react to different situations. The situations I refer to are the different classes of zombie outbreaks. You wouldn't prepare yourself for a blizzard if light rain was in the forecast, nor would you plan for a day at the beach if a tsunami was heading your way.

The facts are I live in a densely populated urban area, and work in a large metropolitan downtown core. I take public transit to and from my "9-5" job on weekdays. Although I have a child in pre-school, she's only there for a couple hours a day, for a few days a week. Otherwise, the rest of my family tends to be close to home for most of the week.

If an outbreak were to occur locally, chances are very slim that, given the above information, we would be witness to either a Class 1 or a Class 2 outbreak, first hand. Given the population density both at home and at work, a Class 3 would be the most likely, and hopefully before then it would be all over the news. Hopefully.

Unfortunately, what I did not mention previously is that we live a couple hundred meters from a hospital, and I work less than a kilometer, as the crow flies, from a hospital downtown. Although you probably wouldn't find Patient Zero at a hospital, you'd probably find Patients 8 - 200. Should it arise, I could experience a Class 1 outbreak at home, and a Class 2 outbreak while at work. Easily. Regardless of what the chances are, I must take both into account.

For a Class 1, my priority would be to defend my family, but more importantly, to get ourselves into a safer situation (Lesson #9). At home, this would mean arming ourselves, locking the place down, and waiting it out. At work... well, it's not like I can carry weapons around at work, so getting to a safer location would be the priority.

The way life works, however, is that things don't always go according to plan. What I'm getting at is this; close your eyes and think about what would you do during an earthquake? Okay, now that you've opened your eyes, where did you picture yourself? At home in front of the TV, in bed, in front of the computer? Maybe at work? Of course, you're not going to picture yourself taking a dump in the local mall because there must have been too much MSG in the chow mien you just ate, and you're bowels are hating your for it... but that's where you might be when an earthquake hits.

Although I cannot plan for every contingency, if I at least have knowledge, training, and some awareness, I can at least rely on that to help me get to a situation where I can act on my planning.

Right now, this means taking stock in what I currently have, what I need, where I am, and where I would need to get to should the Zeds come knocking.

In the next post, I shall look at the home situation, my personal situation, and what I need to do to improve those situations. Of course, this assumes that I don't pick up on the warning signs soon enough and can't get my family out of town before the town decides to get out of town.

Part 1 - Zed

Zed is a nickname for a zombie. (Also referred to as a Zack by the US Army.)

According to The Zombie Survival Guide, a zombie is the result of a person who has been infected with the Solanum virus, has "died", and then has been reanimated as a walking, feasting, living-dead ghoul.

Not to be confused with anything voodoo related, or what you see in mainstream movies, these zombies seek out flesh, feel no pain, aren't very mobile or quick, and whether they resemble a friend or family member, they won't remember who you are and spare you.

Having just finished reading the ZSG, I have come to the realization that I, along with my family, are woefully unprepared for anything more than a Level 1 Outbreak.

Each week I hope to post my progress on the steps I'm taking to be ready for any outbreak that might occur. Everything from preparing my home, to making escape plans; from purchasing equipment, supplies, and weapons, to finding and purchasing land to build a "fortress" on; from researching past outbreaks to learning new skills and training to fight.

Unfortunately, there won't be a news story, an e-mail, or a YouTube video posted that warns us of an upcoming zombie apocalypse. No, when those things arrive, it'll already be too late. Hopefully, an outbreak at any level won't occur until I'm ready for it... or never at all.

Stay tuned.