Question - Trapped in a Mall.

A friend sent me a questionnaire. I'm re-wording it, slightly, but here it is:

If you were trapped in a mall during a Level 4 Outbreak:

1. What music would you have playing? (a single, an album, and a genre)
   
2. What would be your weapon of choice? (fictional and non-fictional)
3. Who would you have fight with you? (fictional and non-fictional)

My answers:

1. Single: Sexy M.F. by Prince. Album: Wolfmother by Wolfmother. Genre: rock 'n roll.
2. Fictional: Lightsaber. Non-Fictional: Entrenching tool.
3. Fictional: Yoda ('cause he's bad-ass, and could train me to use the lightsaber). Non-Fictional: Alexander Ovechkin.
   

Part 6 - Entertainment

If a Level 3 or 4 outbreak were to occur, as I've mentioned previously, chances are good that we'd lose power. During a prolonged home-defense situation, nerves would get frazzled. Keeping ones mind elsewhere, when not on guard duty, would become very important.

How would you entertain yourself while holed up in your home with no power?... and likely no internet?

Well, as previously mentioned, I'm preparing for the power issue; solar and human dynamo generated power.

Books don't require power, just light to read them (when it's dark). I already own a human powered flashlight. (By the way, we'll be preparing our windows for black-out purposes.) I've also been doing a lot more reading since I've been taking transit to work. So it doesn't hurt to keep buying more books. (I hope the rest of the family likes sci-fi and Tom Clancy books.) Some puzzle books like crosswords or sudoku, would also be good. This book might seem like a good read now, but maybe not during an outbreak.

Our home stereo would be somewhat of a power hog compared to our iMac. The stereo would be good for scanning through the radio waves, but I'd also want a "wind-up" radio; they're portable.

We have several pairs of headphones, so noise won't be an issue.

The iMac, in use, only consumes about 100W. Very easy to accommodate. The iMac plays CDs and DVDs. Most, if not all, of our CDs have already been imported into iTunes. The DVDs, on the other hand, will be finding their way out of the basement and will be stored upstairs. (Out of sight so as to not upset the wife during our current daily lives.) Books will also find their way upstairs from the basement.

I've been collecting a lot of TV shows on DVD, lately.

It doesn't hurt to have educational/reality-based shows, either. For example, I've been watching a lot of Mantracker, Survivorman, and Man Vs. Wild, lately.

Beyond that, we have a few board games, good for family interaction, but they're not suitable for really young children. My daughter got the old board game, Candyland, for Christmas. She can play it over and over and over again. Me? Not so much. We'll have to start including a new board game for the kids each birthday and Christmas.

Puzzles are also a good time-waster. We only have little girl puzzles, so we'll have to look into getting some "big people" puzzles. The more pieces the better.

So, books, music, movies (and TV shows) on disc, puzzles, and radio.

I'd also look into art supplies. Mostly paper and pencil crayons. Keeps the kids busy.

Oh, and back to the iMac. Video games help. Unfortunately, unless you got to a duel-boot configuration, there aren't a lot of games for Apple computers.

Part 5 - Weapons

Today, we went to our local Home Depot to pick up some stuff for around the house (leaking faucet, sand for the kids, saw for the Christmas tree, etc.), so I thought it would be the ideal time for some additional preparations.

Specifically, I bought a crowbar. $20 gets me a very useful tool. The flatter end can be used for jabbing through the front of the face, whilst the other end can be used to cave in skulls. I'd have to be careful not to actually hit with the clawed part as I wouldn't want it to get stuck and get overwhelmed. For a lone assailant, the claw would definitely work, though. I'm considering looking into a titanium model, too. The trade-off for combating Zeds, however, is weight. I wouldn't be expending as much energy with titanium if the need to start swinging arose, but then again, the 8+ lbs of the steel bar lets its weight do much of the work.

Speaking of swinging, I hate baseball. Having said that, $30/hour gets me an hours worth of a hard swinging work out in the local batting cages. Or, for a different swing, that same cost would get me about 5 buckets of golf balls at the nearest driving range.

My father has an old Bolo machete that is heavy enough, and strong enough, to chop down small trees. (Well, any sized tree, really. Given enough time, of course.) In all the years he's had it - which is as long as I can remember - he's never been able to find another one like it. Most machetes that you an find today are lightweight, flimsy, and made of aluminum, or something. His is steel. Heavy steel. Even the one pictured here, although it looks very similar to my father's, is said to weigh just over a pound. Seems a little light from what I recall of Dad's. Might be worth ordering, however.

Although it would be nice to have a katana sword, and there's a company in my hometown that makes them, I can think of a better way to spend $3,000. There are claims of real "battle ready" swords online, starting at only a couple hundred dollars, I'd just have to research it a bit more before going with one that's only the fraction of the price of what I know to be a real sword.

Although not a weapon, I'd be stupid not to consider armour of some kind. I wouldn't want something that limits my freedom of movement, but at the same time it has to be able to withstand the bite of a human being. Well, how 'bout a shark suit? Feeder sleeves (with gloves) can be purchased online. Although not the strongest biter, a Great White's bite is several hundred pounds per square inch, whereas a human's bite is only a couple hundred, at most. So, I'd say the feeder sleeves would work perfectly. I've sent a mail to Neptunic, asking them about pricing of said sleeves. Stay tuned.

Rule #4 (in the ZSG) is the reason why I haven't mentioned guns, yet. Having said that, I would need to apply for a Possession and Aquisition License before purchasing a weapon. Also, guns are loud and would draw attention unless a silencer was used. I'll likely discuss firearms in a future post. Right now, however, I'm going to stick to ammo-less weaponry.

Part 4.1 - Food

I can't believe I failed to mention this previously, but as far as the quantity of food you'll have to buy goes, it's almost imperative that you get a Costco membership. I only say "almost" because there are times when your local supermarket (the one that sells bulk items) just might sell items for cheaper. Most of the time, however, you'll save enough money to more than pay for the annual membership fees.

And to add one more thing: Remove unneeded packaging (recycle it!), and label the items with the date of purchase. Keep an inventory, including the dates, and stay on top of it. The last thing you want is to be surrounded by food that's gone bad because eight years have gone by since you first stored your emergency provisions and you can't go shopping because it's Zombie Day at the mall.

Part 4 - Food

My wife recently pointed out the obvious to me; preparing for a zombie outbreak is just like preparing for a natural disaster. So, the added benefit of being ready for the day the dead walk the earth also means we are prepared for anything from earthquakes to simple power outages from windstorms.

All the power and water (previous post) in the world won't do you any good if you don't have food. Luckily, this is easy; it's only as difficult as you make it.

Most store bought canned goods are good for anywhere between 12-24 months, safely. Some items could last longer... but you must ask whether it's worth the risk. Remember, there won't be any hospitals to visit if you get botulism or salmonella... or anything of the sort.

If you don't want to go to the store, you have the option of canning or drying. I remember drying pasta sauce (among other things) before going on a week-long hiking trip when I was much younger. The dehydrator was nothing more than a cardboard box with some tinfoil in it and a lightbulb. That pasta sauce was fantastic once it was rehydrated on the trail. And who doesn't like canned peaches?

There are tons of resources on the internet regarding either drying or canning; I won't go into details on that. The one thing I will point out, because I haven't really said anything about it, yet, is the home defense plan is really based on a short-to-medium-length stay; Anything more than a year, and there will be other plans made (and more on that later).

So, without getting into how, the biggest questions are what and how much?

Space is an issue, so the type of foods I'll be looking to prepare and store should be very high in nutritional value and calories, but without being bulky. If we can maintain defense of the entire house's envelope, then storage in the cool basement would alleviate many concerns regarding heat. So, what kind of food would I store? WHFoods.com is a fantastic source of information. They even have a list of foods that make the grade and each has a complete breakdown of what's good about the food and also any concerns one might have regarding it. Once I've determined which foods I'll be wanting to store, it's just a matter of finding the right way to store it.

So, after that comes the question of how much do I store? Well, currently I'd want enough for two adults, 1 toddler, and an infant. Granted, if an outbreak doesn't occur in the next 15 years, then I'd make sure our provisions reflect the caloric intake of 2 adults and 2 teenagers. To keep this very simple, we're looking at about 2,000 calories a day for each adult, and 1,000 calories for each child. (Again, keeping it very simple.)

So, not only do I need to have about 6,000 calories of food stored for each day, but we also have to take into account special dietary needs (for the infant). As everybody ages, their needs change, too. So, I will have to keep an inventory of stored provisions and rotate out old or "obsolete" foods.

So, what does 6,000 calories a day look like? Over 10 kg of apples, or about 6.5 kg of bananas, or about 14 kg of carrots, over 3 kg of chicken, over 1 kg of peanuts, 5.5 kg of potatoes or corn, under 3 kg of beef, over 4.5kg of kidney beans, 21 kg of broccoli, almost 5.5 kg of brown rice, over 2.5 kg of salmon, almost 2 kg of honey, or just over 2 kg of maple syrup. Etc, etc, etc. The point is, in a non-fast-food, non-processed world, it's not very easy to overeat as far as the recommended daily intake for calories go, but, in this situation, it means having to store massive quantities of food.

A fantastic alternative would be to grow your own food, but that would require either lots of electricity for indoor hydroponics or exposure to the outdoors. Remember, I'm not fortifying and stockpiling for an extended seige. No, I'm doing all this in the hopes of avoiding detection, so gardening is out of the question, even if it was possible to rig something up on the roof.

I'm going to have to go through the list of foods, find out which ones are the easiest to store, supply the most, and most important, nutrients, and also find out how (and where) I'm going to store them all. Right now, the basement and the attic spaces seem the likely candidates (where it doesn't conflict with heat requirements and water storage, of course.

Next up: Weapons, entertainment, and exercise.

Part 3 - The Homefront

The biggest threat during a zombie outbreak is, of course, the zombies. A close second is your neighbour (both literally and figuratively). It is very important that I keep that in mind.

If I make my home a fortress, and stock it with food, water, and weapons, and anybody notices this, I become the neighbourhood crackpot. During an outbreak, at best I look like a saviour, at worst a target; neither is desirable. I'm going to have provisions for my family, not yours. In other words, the Zeds are the Big Bad Wolf, and I'm the Little Pig who made his house out of bricks and mortar. The difference is, when the Wolf blows your house down, this Little Pig isn't unlocking his door to let you in.

It would be easy enough to prevent zombies from entering a fortified home. Preventing human entry takes it to a whole other level.

So, what does that mean for my current situation? Well, I live in a townhouse complex. My biggest fear is fire. Should any neighbour do something stupid, all my plans are shot to hell, with the exception of my escape plan (TBD).

As I live on a hill, at the foot of a mountain, the front door of my townhome is on one floor, but the back door is one floor down. My first order of business is securing the "basement", followed by the main floor, then isolating the upstairs from the down.

Basement: The door itself is sturdy and has multiple locks. It wouldn't take much to secure it further. The bathroom has a window, but it's about 6 feet up and only about a foot high. This wouldn't be hard to secure either. The weak link in the chain is definitely the "storage" room. It has sliding glass doors. I'll need to either replace those or fortify the room from within or outside. The door to that room opens outwards into the laundry area. That will need to be changed so it opens into the room and can be locked from outside. I think I'll replace all the basement doors with metal fire-rated doors. They won't splinter and can stand up to a decent pounding. (Remember, zombies don't have superhuman strength, they're only as strong as the body they occupy; they just don't feel pain or get tired.) Then again, living in a coastal city, I'm wondering if I could find some cheap bulkhead doors... like you'd find in a submarine. I'll have to look into those options and post the results later.

Main Floor: The front door is like the back door, but it has a slim window beside it. The kitchen has a window, too. Those are the only openings to the outside on that floor. (The living room, on a split-level, has sliding doors, but they open up to a balcony that's one floor above grade; and we all know zombies can't climb.) If I could replace the front windows with transparent aluminum, I'd do that, but since I can't time travel, I'll need to find another way to secure this area without compromising aesthetics (for the time being). Cost is unknown depending on the solution. (Est. <$200)

The next concern, would be the balcony off the living room. As I just mentioned, it's safe from the ground. What it's not safe from, however, is the neighbour's balcony. The dividing wall will need reinforcement. Not much, as it's pretty sturdy, but still, I don't want to risk anybody (even my neighbours) from doing an end-around. Cost is unknown depending on the solution. (Est. <$100)

Finally, there's the matter of isolating the upstairs from the rest of the place. I have a choice; I can either tear out the stairs and rebuild them so they can be removed in a hurry, or I can look into ways of just tearing them out when needed. Again, zombies can't climb very well, and a missing staircase could not be overcome. It wouldn't even need to be all of the stairs, just a few. A simple plank would be enough for us to bypass the hole, if and when things are clear. Cost is unknown depending on the solution. (Est. <$500)

Two of the bedrooms have attic access. In the months we've been living here, we've never bothered to look to see what kind of spaces are up there? Are they built to withstand people being up there? Storage? Or is this something I'll have to work on. Whether the attics are usable or not, they will eventually be used to store provisions.

I'll have to get some solar panels for backup power. In a Level 3 or 4 outbreak, we could lose power and water. A 200 watt solar panel will run just over between $1,300 and $1,500 plus tax. Add some batteries for storage and the hardware required to use that power (converting DC to AC), and you're looking at upwards of $3,500 for a couple panels. The good news is that if you hook that into the grid now, you'll get the benefit of net metering, which is when the utility company buys your unused power from you. It won't pay for itself overnight, but it would take the edge off... and it's a green thing to do. Another option, or addition, is that of a human dynamo machine. Or, in other words, a stationary bike hooked up to some batteries. A single adult could generate 125-200w of power. The upside is "free" power and exercise. The downside is more fuel (food) is required to run the engine (person). Unfortunately, most modern appliances tend to need about 1000w of power. A quick search on the internet shows that most "low wattage" appliances require 500-800w. Add a solar cooker to the mix instead, and you won't need as much power.

As for water, that's only a matter of some piping, a clean surface to capture the rainwater, and something to store it in. You don't want to assume you'll get water during an outbreak. A waterbed mattress would do the trick, but you'd want to make sure the water is filtered and that wherever you put the mattress is strong enough to support the weight (like in the aforementioned attic). A king-sized free-flow bladder costs about $100, and the fill and drain kit is another $20. I'm sure I could get a granulated carbon filter, good for 6 months, for about $10. All told, I think I could get drinkable water for under $300 (I'd need 2 bladders. See below).

Each king-sized bladder holds about 790 liters. Normally, that would only be good for a about five days for my family (320 l/day) using both bladders. Under outbreak conditions, however, I calculated that we could get by with substantially less (45 - 60 litres per day would be the comfort zone), and still not stink to high heaven. Given the annual precipitation of where I live, factor in a water catchment area of about 20 square meters (10 on the North slope of the roof, 10 on the South), and assume the bladders are kept filled during "peace time", we'd have enough water to live all year around. In fact, with the given data, we could use 68 l/day... assuming "average" conditions and regular maintenance.

The biggest potential roadblock to some of these is getting it approved by the strata council in our complex.

So, that takes care of power, water, and some protection (or at the very least, what I need to research further).

Next up? Food... ours, not us.

Part 2 - What Now?

Preparing for a zombie outbreak is kinda like preparing for how you're going to spend your money if you win the lottery; you can do all the planning you want, but chances are you'll never have the opportunity to follow through on those plans, and even if you do get the chance, you cannot predict how things will actually happen.

Having said that, two things immediately apply: 1) Fail to plan, plan to fail. 2) It's better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.

The first thing I'm considering is how to react to different situations. The situations I refer to are the different classes of zombie outbreaks. You wouldn't prepare yourself for a blizzard if light rain was in the forecast, nor would you plan for a day at the beach if a tsunami was heading your way.

The facts are I live in a densely populated urban area, and work in a large metropolitan downtown core. I take public transit to and from my "9-5" job on weekdays. Although I have a child in pre-school, she's only there for a couple hours a day, for a few days a week. Otherwise, the rest of my family tends to be close to home for most of the week.

If an outbreak were to occur locally, chances are very slim that, given the above information, we would be witness to either a Class 1 or a Class 2 outbreak, first hand. Given the population density both at home and at work, a Class 3 would be the most likely, and hopefully before then it would be all over the news. Hopefully.

Unfortunately, what I did not mention previously is that we live a couple hundred meters from a hospital, and I work less than a kilometer, as the crow flies, from a hospital downtown. Although you probably wouldn't find Patient Zero at a hospital, you'd probably find Patients 8 - 200. Should it arise, I could experience a Class 1 outbreak at home, and a Class 2 outbreak while at work. Easily. Regardless of what the chances are, I must take both into account.

For a Class 1, my priority would be to defend my family, but more importantly, to get ourselves into a safer situation (Lesson #9). At home, this would mean arming ourselves, locking the place down, and waiting it out. At work... well, it's not like I can carry weapons around at work, so getting to a safer location would be the priority.

The way life works, however, is that things don't always go according to plan. What I'm getting at is this; close your eyes and think about what would you do during an earthquake? Okay, now that you've opened your eyes, where did you picture yourself? At home in front of the TV, in bed, in front of the computer? Maybe at work? Of course, you're not going to picture yourself taking a dump in the local mall because there must have been too much MSG in the chow mien you just ate, and you're bowels are hating your for it... but that's where you might be when an earthquake hits.

Although I cannot plan for every contingency, if I at least have knowledge, training, and some awareness, I can at least rely on that to help me get to a situation where I can act on my planning.

Right now, this means taking stock in what I currently have, what I need, where I am, and where I would need to get to should the Zeds come knocking.

In the next post, I shall look at the home situation, my personal situation, and what I need to do to improve those situations. Of course, this assumes that I don't pick up on the warning signs soon enough and can't get my family out of town before the town decides to get out of town.

Part 1 - Zed

Zed is a nickname for a zombie. (Also referred to as a Zack by the US Army.)

According to The Zombie Survival Guide, a zombie is the result of a person who has been infected with the Solanum virus, has "died", and then has been reanimated as a walking, feasting, living-dead ghoul.

Not to be confused with anything voodoo related, or what you see in mainstream movies, these zombies seek out flesh, feel no pain, aren't very mobile or quick, and whether they resemble a friend or family member, they won't remember who you are and spare you.

Having just finished reading the ZSG, I have come to the realization that I, along with my family, are woefully unprepared for anything more than a Level 1 Outbreak.

Each week I hope to post my progress on the steps I'm taking to be ready for any outbreak that might occur. Everything from preparing my home, to making escape plans; from purchasing equipment, supplies, and weapons, to finding and purchasing land to build a "fortress" on; from researching past outbreaks to learning new skills and training to fight.

Unfortunately, there won't be a news story, an e-mail, or a YouTube video posted that warns us of an upcoming zombie apocalypse. No, when those things arrive, it'll already be too late. Hopefully, an outbreak at any level won't occur until I'm ready for it... or never at all.

Stay tuned.